Friday, 28 May 2010

hairless wonders

This week I was shouted at by some boys in a souped up vehicle (shortly, one imagines, to end up in the firty foot drain), who threw the words "lesbian" at me as they sped up the road. Unfortunately, they were going too fast for me to explain the whole idea of sexuality to them, in small words they would understand. Even if i'd held up a copy of "Razzle" and shouted "There's more to it than this, honest!" they'd still not have understood. I wish I could have pointed out to them the remoteness of the possibility of finding a lesbian who has 2 children in the Fens. Or how attractive they suddenly made the prospect of lesbianism seem to one who has a daughter here. God forbid she should be limited to the genepool round here.
The reason for the outburst is my hair, or lack thereof. My hair is currently less than an inch all over, and shorter in places. It is greyer than it used to be, finer than it used to be, and about 2/3 lighter in weight than it used to be. There is none up front, less up top. I am going bald. So I must be a lesbian, for who else would refuse the peroxide lock, the wavy perm, the waist length look? (Small guilty pause possibly, by the weediest boy in the car. Maybe she had (gasp!) CANCER!). No, not that either. Nobody knows why my hair falls out, it could be thyroid disease, or any number of other autoimmune things my body is being tested for, but the fact remains, ladies wihtou hair are WEIRD. And I am very hairless, no body hair and half eyebrows. The first time it happened, I was bereft and wore headscarves and lipstick to compensate, until I realised people thought I was dying and looked sadly at me all the time. Now I just brazen it out, and look strange. But I do have the odd weep in the shower.

Women and hair: we spend years of our lives shaving it off, dying it, tweezing it, wishing it was straight when it's curly and vice versa. With it in the wrong places, we are unsexy. Without it in the right places,we are unsexy. me? I'm sexy when i'm not too knackered from the kids and forget I don't have hair. I struggle to reconcile myself to its' loss, and get a lot of hair satisfaction from daughters flowing locks, but I confess to worrying at how i'm going to approach the Summer months, hatless. I spent an hour looking for sexy short haired or bald ladies on the web and found an odd fetish site (it may come to that yet) or pictures of Demi Moore and that weird one from the Star Trek film. That's it! Ladies who browse my blog: find me a short haired or bald lady I can look at with pride. There's no pic of me, but I might be brave enough soon.


The List Writer said...

There aren't many bald ldaies to be proud of, admittedly. There is Gail Porter - who I do admire for going bald and seemingly not giving a fig. She presented a season of The Gadget Show last year, and C was rather wowed by her baldy look. He deemed it 'cool'.

Also you can have Sigourney Weaver in one of the Alien movies, but not sure if that counts because it was for film not real life. And aliens aren't very sexy. But still - she looked damn fine.

I agreee, that being brazenly bald is probably better than the cancer scarf look. But undeniably difficult. And maybe invest in a fantastically high quality, killer wig for those days when you just don't want to be bald any more.

Jan said...

How brave you are ,to put all your cards on the table and explain this to us after some morons ,called out so cruelly to you ,wonder which ditch or drain they ended up in ? Jan xx

sharie said...

To put it bluntly those boys were using gob size to make up for their lack of penis/brain size. Notice I put penis and brain in the same spot ;-)

It is damn hard to find pics of women with very short hair- but just because very short, thin hair isn't in fashion right now doesn't mean we should all go out and buy hair extensions or wigs like Cheryl Cole.

My hair has gone bitty since I had my thyroid problem. I've cut it short into a bob but luckily its always been very very thick. Actually I rather like scarfs and hats, summer is a great time to wear them as it stops sun stroke.

BTW I wear combat pants and boots a lot of the time so I'd probably be classed as a lesbian as well by those retarded boys.

sweetypie said...

you dont need hair to sew, make a quilt, and your right about the 40 foot but it does weed out the rubish from the gene pool,you could wear a wig and you could make a funky hat or you could just flick the vees in time honoured fen tradition ,dont bother with the finger they dont know what it means chin up girl!

Fenland Textile Studio said...

I think it's only women and mothers who appreciate that our beauty and inner core of strength which carrys us through whatever crap life comes from within us. Idiots like those which you came across have no respect for anything and unfortunately will continue this throughout their very own crap lives. Head up, we are all here for you. Love and Hugs Angela